The 5 Love Languages - The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

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Summary

This book is a must read for anyone who desires to be in a relationship. It sounds cliche in this day and age but there’s actually a lot of substance to the theory - also given the fact that the author has a practice and therefore has seen his theories play out as he counselled couples. Chapman goes through how we all have different ways of communicating love. We all communicate in various ways, but some of those ways have more meaning or weight in our overall satisfaction than others. This is what we call primary and secondary love languages. If we are aware of these in ourselves, we can communicate with our partners how we want to be loved and they can do the same. We can love our partners the way they want to be loved.

My key Takeaways

The 5 Love Languages - each one of them can be further broken down - Chapman calls these dialects.

  1. Words of affirmation: verbal compliments, encouraging words, kind words, humble words

  2. Acts of service: No one should be forced to do something, love is freely given and is a choice and so are the acts of service of love

  3. Receiving gifts: includes the gift of self - does not need to cost much money - for saving and investing money is also a gift of financial reassurance and caring

  4. Quality time: This includes quality conversation, listening, talking - being able to express your emotions if your partner values quality time, quality activities

  5. Physical touch: This includes non-sexual touch, touch in crisis, touch in happiness, etc.

I would recommend this book to

  • Anyone who wants to have a lasting relationship

  • If you love to love

  • You want to become a better lover

  • You are struggling in your relationship